Definition
1 a : a false or unfounded report or story; especially : a fabricated report
b : a groundless rumor or belief
2 : an airplane with horizontal stabilizing and control surfaces in front of supporting surfaces; also : a small airfoil in front of the wing of an aircraft that can increase the aircraft's performance
In 16th-century France, vendre des canards à moitié was a colorful way of saying "to fool" or "to cheat." The French phrase means, literally, "to half-sell ducks." No one now knows just what was meant by "to half-sell"; the proverb was probably based on some story widely known at the time, but the details have not survived. At any rate, the expression led to the use of canard, the French word for "duck," with the meaning of "a hoax" or "a fabrication." English speakers adopted this canard in the mid-1800s. The aeronautical sense of canard, used from the early days of flying, comes from the stubby duck-like appearance of the aircraft.
Did you hear the rumour about the flock of cursed rubber duckies?
Apparently, one avid protester became so infuriated that other protesters were stealing his original idea of using rubber ducks to protest against, i don't know, climate change or potholes, that he actually set up his own rubber duck company. He ensured that his rubber ducks became so on trend and popular (due to his rather lucky collaboration with a certain star's well received music video that featured 150,000 of them) that soon they were the only ones people would buy. Unless you were a parent buying one for a child, as the materials certainly weren't child friendly. No, the protester marketed them as strictly 18 and over, which only added to their charm.
Soon, they had spread worldwide - and that's when the protester activated the curse. Everyone who owned one was now cursed with bad luck - their marriages failed, they got into trouble at work, people who they owed substantial amounts of money to were suddenly able to find them - despite them having moved several countries away, changed their name multiple times and had undergone face altering surgery. They also tended to fall down holes, a lot.
Soon rubber ducks were flying back to the factory through the post. Delivery trucks and Postal Vans were filled to the brim with cursed rubber ducks but to no avail. Despite the sender having paid the correct postage, and watched the duck leave their possession with their own eyes, they'd come back home that evening to find them, sitting in the bathtub (or shower cubicle) waiting for them. There was no escape.
People tried, in vain, to find the protester who had sold them the cursed ducks in the first place, but to no avail. He had vanished from the face of the earth - not even FaceBook could track him down.
Until, one day, on YouTube he uploaded a video. It stated that should his demands of a cleaner, safer environment for the planet and better copyright laws not be met, then he would unleash a far greater curse upon the people.
After all, he reasoned, if zombie apocalypse films were so popular now, and it seemed that every man and his dog had a zombie survival plan, then surely the people could cope with a little zombie-duck apocalypse.
To date, the air has never been cleaner. There are less cars on the road, public transportation is more efficient and cheaper and therefore much better used, recycling is taught to children from nursery age, if not younger, plastic products have been banned and organic produce is supported wherever possible. After a long, dark time of being regularly beaten and abused, mother earth is finally starting to breathe a well deserved sigh of relief.
The rubber ducks are still watching.
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