Heterodox
Definition
1 : contrary to or different from an acknowledged standard, a traditional form, or an established
2 : holding unorthodox opinions or doctrines
It's true: individuals often see other people's ideas as unconventional while regarding their own as
Greek doxa, which means "opinion." Heterodox derives from doxa plus
heter-, a combining form meaning "other" or "different"; orthodox pairs doxa with orth-,
meaning "correct" or "straight."
The Archangel Michelangelo stood in front of his subordinates dwelling and sighed. This was going
to be a very unpleasant conversation and he was not looking forward to it.
to be a very unpleasant conversation and he was not looking forward to it.
His subordinate was brilliant and talented - their world architectural skills were second to none and
much of the space that Heaven had carved out for themselves had been designed and created by
them - usually the most beautiful and scenic parts. They truly were a visionary.
much of the space that Heaven had carved out for themselves had been designed and created by
them - usually the most beautiful and scenic parts. They truly were a visionary.
Unfortunately, some of the views they held on certain matters… didn’t quite run alongside
management’s views on how things should be. It wasn’t even, really, like they ran contrary to them
either. They just sort of ran off in a completely unexpected direction and completely ignored what the
rest of the population thought about things. Personally, Archangel Michelangelo wasn’t bothered at
all by his subordinates somewhat weird actions. From what he could see, they did no harm to anyone
and keeping Heaven’s best architect happy seemed like a good idea to him.
management’s views on how things should be. It wasn’t even, really, like they ran contrary to them
either. They just sort of ran off in a completely unexpected direction and completely ignored what the
rest of the population thought about things. Personally, Archangel Michelangelo wasn’t bothered at
all by his subordinates somewhat weird actions. From what he could see, they did no harm to anyone
and keeping Heaven’s best architect happy seemed like a good idea to him.
However, this was Heaven. The law was The Law. no dissension or break from the norm was tolerated.
At all, as Lucifer and his cronies had found out centuries before. Everyone toed the line that might as
well have been drawn in granite. Heaven was a harmonious Eden and, by hook, crook or knife, it would
stay that way.
At all, as Lucifer and his cronies had found out centuries before. Everyone toed the line that might as
well have been drawn in granite. Heaven was a harmonious Eden and, by hook, crook or knife, it would
stay that way.
No exceptions.
Archangel Michelangelo sighed again. This was not going to go well.
He knocked on the door of the modest house.
It was opened by a cranky angel, their hair sticking up every which way as if they’d been dragged
through a hedge. In fact, Michelangelo stared closer, there actually were various bits of flora stuck in it.
through a hedge. In fact, Michelangelo stared closer, there actually were various bits of flora stuck in it.
They were wearing a rather battered white coat - like doctors on earth wore (although he suspected
theirs were much cleaner than the one currently being exhibited) and had a pair of flying goggles
pushed back on their forehead. The multiple pockets of the coat were stuffed with a variety of treats,
dog toys and laser pointers, along with a heck of a lot of other stuff he couldn’t even identify.
theirs were much cleaner than the one currently being exhibited) and had a pair of flying goggles
pushed back on their forehead. The multiple pockets of the coat were stuffed with a variety of treats,
dog toys and laser pointers, along with a heck of a lot of other stuff he couldn’t even identify.
Michelangelo smirked. He couldn’t help it. His subordinate looked exactly like the human’s caricature
of a mad scientist. (Michelangelo had a secret love of the human’s old b-movie horror films. These
were definitely not Heaven’s approved watch list and so he’d had to build a secret TV room in his
basement that was rigged to self destruct if anyone but him or an invited guest entered it. Paranoid
overkill? He’d worked in Heaven’s managerial forces for millennia - he knew 100%, from personal
experience, that no, this was not too paranoid.)
of a mad scientist. (Michelangelo had a secret love of the human’s old b-movie horror films. These
were definitely not Heaven’s approved watch list and so he’d had to build a secret TV room in his
basement that was rigged to self destruct if anyone but him or an invited guest entered it. Paranoid
overkill? He’d worked in Heaven’s managerial forces for millennia - he knew 100%, from personal
experience, that no, this was not too paranoid.)
He tried smiling brightly at his subordinate. “Hi Stella, can I come in?”
They scowled at him, but stepped aside and let him pass into the house.
Which was not a house at all. In fact, the door led straight into a huge grassy area with a large lake
bordered by an ancient forest. Mountains could be seen in the misty distance.
bordered by an ancient forest. Mountains could be seen in the misty distance.
Michelangelo put his head in hands and groaned loudly. It was worse than he thought.
“Stella!” he snapped at them. “How many times have I told you! You have to hide shit like this if you’re
going to do it! If anyone but me came around, you’d be up on trial in seconds! Heck, you might not
even get a trial!! Not only is this, this ...completely nonconformist to what it should be” He sputtered
out at last, struggling for words at the enormity of the sheer audacity of what Stella had done. “But
you’ve swiped a massive chunk of Heaven’s real estate for yourself. They’ll go ballistic if they find out
about this.”
going to do it! If anyone but me came around, you’d be up on trial in seconds! Heck, you might not
even get a trial!! Not only is this, this ...completely nonconformist to what it should be” He sputtered
out at last, struggling for words at the enormity of the sheer audacity of what Stella had done. “But
you’ve swiped a massive chunk of Heaven’s real estate for yourself. They’ll go ballistic if they find out
about this.”
Stella just shrugged. “I needed the space.” they said simply.
Which led Michelangelo neatly onto the main reason management had sent him here today (they’d
have sent an entire squad if they’d know that Stella had carved her own little rustic empire out of
Heaven’s land).
have sent an entire squad if they’d know that Stella had carved her own little rustic empire out of
Heaven’s land).
The laws had been laid down long ago that angels were to monitor, occasionally aid, occasionally
annihilate humans. Didn’t matter if you love, hated or were just indifferent to them. Humans, the
bipedal homosapien species, were the name of the game and their raison d’etre.
annihilate humans. Didn’t matter if you love, hated or were just indifferent to them. Humans, the
bipedal homosapien species, were the name of the game and their raison d’etre.
Stella did not like humans. In fact, they’d grown to dislike them more and more as time past. However,
unlike the others who actually loathed and despised them to the point that they were always the first to
volunteer when genocide/plague/famine time rolled around and took great pleasure in their victims
suffering to alleviate the stress they felt at being trapped into monitoring them for all time without a by
your lease, Stella thought that hatred was an unproductive emotion and tainted your life. Which was a
good thing, yes? Even management agreed.
unlike the others who actually loathed and despised them to the point that they were always the first to
volunteer when genocide/plague/famine time rolled around and took great pleasure in their victims
suffering to alleviate the stress they felt at being trapped into monitoring them for all time without a by
your lease, Stella thought that hatred was an unproductive emotion and tainted your life. Which was a
good thing, yes? Even management agreed.
Management, however, did not agree with what they considered to be Stella’s ‘coping mechanism.’
Funnily enough, Michelangelo didn’t agree that, in fact, it was a coping mechanism. In fact, he thought it
was just the way Stella was, and would be irrespective of whether they liked humans or not.
was just the way Stella was, and would be irrespective of whether they liked humans or not.
Stella adored animals. Practically worshipped them. They were always popping down to earth to sketch
them, take photos of them, sneakily save a baby animal or two that had fallen into a lake or hole and
couldn't get out, sometimes they’d ‘accidentally’ smacked some poachers about a bit (Sorry, I thought
they were already dead and therefore definitely the souls of sinners. I was just assisting our brethren
downstairs - you’re always on at me to better ‘maintain relationships’ with people after all.
them, take photos of them, sneakily save a baby animal or two that had fallen into a lake or hole and
couldn't get out, sometimes they’d ‘accidentally’ smacked some poachers about a bit (Sorry, I thought
they were already dead and therefore definitely the souls of sinners. I was just assisting our brethren
downstairs - you’re always on at me to better ‘maintain relationships’ with people after all.
They let that one slide after Stella promised to design them a magnificent palace to hold court in. And
they did. It was so dazzlingly magnificent that a lot of the lesser angels had to wear sunglasses when
they attended court. The higher ups were too proud to wear them and so spent most of the session
squinting through watering eyes.
they did. It was so dazzlingly magnificent that a lot of the lesser angels had to wear sunglasses when
they attended court. The higher ups were too proud to wear them and so spent most of the session
squinting through watering eyes.
When Michelangelo asked Stella if they’d done this deliberately, as some sort of payback, they answered,
unusually philosophically for them, ‘it’s not as if they actually look at things properly anyway. They’ve
already made up their minds so whether their eyes are opened or closed to what’s in front of them, it
makes no difference.)
unusually philosophically for them, ‘it’s not as if they actually look at things properly anyway. They’ve
already made up their minds so whether their eyes are opened or closed to what’s in front of them, it
makes no difference.)
So Stella was always making unauthorised trips down to Earth and the living realm. This could have
been ...almost forgiven. They were talented enough that management might have found excuses for
them.
been ...almost forgiven. They were talented enough that management might have found excuses for
them.
But what really drove them crazy - and the reason they’d sent him here to deal with Stella - was her
constant interruption of the afterlife situation.
constant interruption of the afterlife situation.
Heaven was designed for humans and angels to co-exist together after the end of the human’s natural
lifespan (although some of the oldest amongst us remembered when Heaven had purely been just for us
and there was some bitterness there. Some of the most bitter ones liked to subtly, and not not subtly,
remind humans that up here, they were no longer top dog).
lifespan (although some of the oldest amongst us remembered when Heaven had purely been just for us
and there was some bitterness there. Some of the most bitter ones liked to subtly, and not not subtly,
remind humans that up here, they were no longer top dog).
But good humans belonged in Heaven. That was the rule. Everything else that died on Earth….their
energy was recycled and fed back into the mortal plane, a bit like reincarnation he supposed.
energy was recycled and fed back into the mortal plane, a bit like reincarnation he supposed.
So no Heaven for animals (which, oddly enough, a lot of the humans complained about. Not because
they now had no beasts of burden, which is what we initially assumed when they started acting up, but
apparently, most of them had expected to meet their beloved pets in the afterlife. Many of them were
apparently devastated when they found out that their pets souls had been recycled back into the Earth’s
energy and quite a few had demanded they be sent back to Earth in the same manner as, without their
cherished pets, ‘what was the point of hanging round here then’. Management refused all such requests
as, he suspected, they felt quite insulted about this. Even humans who didn’t have pets while they were
alive said it was creepy to have trees with no birds in them. Management tried piping in recorded
birdsong from Earth but apparently that was even creepier.)
they now had no beasts of burden, which is what we initially assumed when they started acting up, but
apparently, most of them had expected to meet their beloved pets in the afterlife. Many of them were
apparently devastated when they found out that their pets souls had been recycled back into the Earth’s
energy and quite a few had demanded they be sent back to Earth in the same manner as, without their
cherished pets, ‘what was the point of hanging round here then’. Management refused all such requests
as, he suspected, they felt quite insulted about this. Even humans who didn’t have pets while they were
alive said it was creepy to have trees with no birds in them. Management tried piping in recorded
birdsong from Earth but apparently that was even creepier.)
Stella thought the fact that animals that had been treated poorly in life didn’t get a chance to recuperate
before being thrown straight back into the cycle of life. So they stole their souls from the life stream and
brought them here, to her own home, where they could frolic and play to their heart’s content before
naturally returning to the cycle of their own accord.
before being thrown straight back into the cycle of life. So they stole their souls from the life stream and
brought them here, to her own home, where they could frolic and play to their heart’s content before
naturally returning to the cycle of their own accord.
Beaten fighting dogs, abandoned or drowned cats and kittens, fish that had been flushed away,
parakeets that had starved to death, tortoises that had frozen in winter, spiders, monkeys, pandas,
snakes, lizards, horses, some dinosaurs, zebras, lions, deer, dragons, unicorns, giraffes, walrus……
parakeets that had starved to death, tortoises that had frozen in winter, spiders, monkeys, pandas,
snakes, lizards, horses, some dinosaurs, zebras, lions, deer, dragons, unicorns, giraffes, walrus……
Every animal imaginable, they brought back here, so they could have a chance at a life they could whilst
they were amongst the living.
they were amongst the living.
Even now Michelangelo could see multiple creatures roaming the far fields, swinging through the
branches of the forest and swimming in the lake. A large form broke the surface of the lake, before
snakily weaving it’s long body back under the water.
branches of the forest and swimming in the lake. A large form broke the surface of the lake, before
snakily weaving it’s long body back under the water.
“Was that the Loch Ness Monster?” He asked in disbelief
“Nessie’s been through a lot.” Stella said solemnly.
While this did not really cause any long term damage to the overall structure of the realm of the living
and the realm of the dead, it really did make the numbers go lopsided, and management hated anything
that messed with their neatly planned figures.
and the realm of the dead, it really did make the numbers go lopsided, and management hated anything
that messed with their neatly planned figures.
So they had sent Michelangelo over there to make Stella see reason.
“They’re going to make me give them up, aren't they?” Stella said quietly.
Michelangelo flinched. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but if you don’t give them up now, they’ll send a squad in to
forcibly reincarnate them in the next week.”
forcibly reincarnate them in the next week.”
“I see.” Stella said quietly. “Even though i have done so much for them.”
Michelangelo nodded miserably.
Stella laughed and patted him on the back. “Don’t worry yourself about it. I knew this would happen
sooner or later. So I've made contingency plans.”
sooner or later. So I've made contingency plans.”
Michelangelo felt a growing sense of dread settle in his stomach like lead. “Wait.” He tried to say but his
mouth was dry as a bone and nothing came out.
mouth was dry as a bone and nothing came out.
Stella whipped out a phone and, flashing him a saucy wink and a savage grin, said as the line
connected:
connected:
“Hi, Hell? I hear you have some job openings down there….”
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